Photograph by Alice Triquet on Unsplash.

So you think I’m enjoying this
All the downfall and cutting ties
I’m going through past few months

And you think I’m not affected by this
By the nightmares that nearly brought me demise
By the miscalculation I have caused

Well, I was hoping you were right
But you couldn’t have been more wrong

Truth is I’m not strong enough
To carry all these weight on my shoulder
All I did was staring at the puddle on the ground
And see if I could find someone I’ve been searching for

So they said ignorance is bliss And I’m getting lots…

Photograph by Sophie Dale on Unsplash.

She was all about you, but never an I
Face up, with a pair of sad eyes
And the skies are falling apart
Down with the sound of her crumbling heart

Months have been a constant face down
Chest heavy as if touching the ground
No more stars to hang up her hope on
What little strength she had to hold on

You’re a brandished knife in a form of eloquence
She foreshadowed what was of the consequence
If you were to clutch her wrist a little more tighter,
I guess you’re nothing like a lover

She was all about you, but now she found an I
Face up, still with a pair of sad eyes
And while the skies are falling apart
She’s picking up the pieces of her crumbling heart.

Photograph by Duong Huu on Unsplash.

I wish we could be, by being who we are
I wish our fate wasn’t up by the stars
I wish I could stop this pain, so it won’t turn a scar
We’re a couple distance short, but still a world apart.

Photograph by Jelle Van Leest on Unsplash.

3 A.M. and there she goes with eyes on the screen
Listening to soothing tunes to calm her anxiety
She considers the thought she’s been given
About the life she’s no longer living in

Told her best friend, she lives in the wrong timezone
All day long she slept in, and at night when she’s alone
Her mind’s sometimes wondering far off; of what’s in store
One thing for sure it’s not a place like she used to be before

She went outside, walking around with her usual attire But she’s grown out of the routine and thought: “I’m tired,”…

Photograph by Bernard Hermant on Unsplash.

My steps don’t seem to finish and arrive
My hands don’t seem to always like to help
I question the direction I’m going every time
I stop and took a closer look at myself

My eyes are holding back the stream of tears
My heart can’t seem to process every emotion
Sometimes I think I’ve turned into something
Like a robot struggling to be human

I am afraid to love
’Cause I think I’ve lost my heart
And I can’t really take the pain

I am afraid to trust ‘Cause I know the hardest part Is to open up and…

Photograph by Kristopher Roller on Unsplash.

Empty in my eyes
Face down, and I
Can’t seem to wake up from this
Static reality

Hovering sadness
All over my chest
This striking loneliness
Got me at its best

Tell me I’m not too late
To get out of this racket
That I made
Inside my head

Tell me I will be forgiven
For these tears like ocean
That I’m in
Is swallowing me

The voices I screamed shut
By the blinding light
It cuts right through my skin
No one is listening

Smiling on the outside
To cover my misshaped insides
Palms covering the opening
Searching for an awakening

Tell me I’m not alone
From your end of the phone
I’m finding ways to cope
I’m looking for a hope

Tell me that you’re a friend
For this smoke like ocean
That I’m in
Is drowning me.

Photograph by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash.

There is a fragment of you residing somewhere in my ocean of memories Filled with our echoing laughter and our favorite ghost stories There is a part of you which I am fond of, like how fluent you are in silence But so much of you that I love, you’re like a bundle of Christmas presents I love autumn and you are covered in dry leaves frequently used by photographers for aesthetics I love the cloudy skies, and though they dull in color, you’re still my most favorite part in September That feeling when your eyes rest on mine The…

Photograph by Elijah O’Donnell on Unsplash.

Putting the pieces back together
Is not as easy as I expected it to be
I had to trace back to where I were
Looking for the right words to a memory

Day in and day out I tossed and turn
There were bleeding debris on my bed
I don’t look like I crashed and burned
But I can see it so clear in my head

Sparkling sounds in my ears
Tired eyes and lights were dim
My brain was raining on this fear
Lord, help me; I’m stretching thin

Is it a sin to show weakness? Is it a…

Photograph by Ian Espinosa on Unsplash.

There are things you don’t understand
You turned to say that it isn’t there
I don’t even know what I’m going through
And I gotta hide these demons somewhere

You didn’t know the sleepless nights
And all the sudden mental breakdowns
See the look of confusion in your eyes
As if to say my sanity wasn’t sound

Wish you asked when you saw me uptight
The nights I spent crying to my pillow
Of the hurt I kept bottled up inside
The dark tailing of my black shadow

Beats me if I ever speak of this I’m tight-lipped, wounded, and…

Photograph by Na Inho on Unsplash.

Hey, Mom
I fall in love with the idea of death
The days are behind and then night comes
This probably is as far as I could get

The dates on the calendars are marked
And I don’t get the clear explanation
How do I escape my own shadow in the dark
While hiding the world of my desperation?

There are times where I went off track
And think that it’s okay, but it’s not
You know I’m the kind that looks back
But I don’t even give it my best shot

When I read a story, I put it…

A. Puspadewi

Sad poet wearing a smile.

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